The most experienced salespeople are often caught out when they have not listened correctly or understood what has not been said.
We should be listening to ‘understand’ what our buyers and sellers are telling us, before we reply.
Often buyers or sellers might confuse you by speaking the opposite of what they actually mean or want, so by reading between the lines or understanding what they mean is crucial for a good negotiator when selling real estate.
A seller might turn down an offer and say ” Oh, I’m not in any hurry to sell”, only to call the salesperson the next day asking them if they have sold it yet? or asking what happened to the buyer who made the offer?
And a buyer might say ” there is far too much to do” when what they really mean is ” I want to get the price down and want to pay much less than the asking price”.
So being able to listen to what is not being said and to be able to read between the lines is an important skill required for most salespeople and negotiators.
Tips to understanding what has not been said
- Pay attention to their choice of words, their body language and the situation that you are currently conversing in.
- Use neutral statements to encourage the person to keep talking, i.e. “tell me more, I see, go on”
- Notice their body language, are they folding their arms, looking elsewhere, do they seem distracted?
- If their hands are on their hips they might be feeling impatient and if their hands are in their lap, they are likely feeling relaxed or happily content.
- Reflect on the things that they have said, what was the main focus of the conversation? i.e. Was there anything that seemed uncomfortable, or not fitting?
- Perhaps they might have told you that at the time of listing that they had to sell because of a job transfer, and now they are saying they are not in a hurry to sell – what has changed?
Hidden meanings
When somebody says ” I am 99 % sure”….do they really mean “I have no idea and I want to do more research before I decide” ?
Or what about “I can’t move on that figure and spend any more” If you are in negotiations with a buyer whom you know has been looking at properties far in excess of what they are offering on, then this needs clarification. Do they mean ” I don’t want to offer market value and prefer to get it much cheaper as it is not really what I wanted, or I can’t afford what I really wanted?”
So do they really mean “I want a bargain” ?
What about “Advertising is far too expensive” Is that another way of saying ” If I list with you I want you to pay for it” ?
Or “I need to sleep on it” Does that really mean “I don’t want it and don’t know how to let you down gently seeing that you have spent so much time and effort helping me?”
The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.
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